Editing and commitment issues

I have become fickle in my middle age and seem to have developed commitment issues.
I'm talking about my writing of course. Whilst the film stuff is all chugging along nicely, The Novel has stumbled again. Having taken a little break from my Banshee novel, re-reading it plunged me into despair - so many plot holes, clichéd characters and saggy bits. And I do find it difficult editing my own work at the best of times.
So I am cheating on Banshee with Dorcas Grubb, a former lover I set aside a few years ago when I decided I wanted to write a novel for adults. So with Dorcas I have a story of just under 50000 words for 10-14 year olds that needs a new middle. 
I have also started on a new piece I have been toying with for a while called Three Sisters that is a YA novel set in the village of the title, which blends fairytales and myths with present day village teen life. With family feuds. And Grim Reapers.
My writing routine is improving, and I am hoping to finish the new version of Dorcas by Christmas. I'm sure nothing else will distract me before then...

A Little Writing Update

I have been having a bit of a think about my Matti novel. I knew that what I had written for NaNoWriMo hadn't turned out as I had intended. It just didn't say what I wanted it to, and I have been flummoxed as to how to go about fixing it. After speaking to a couple of people at Speculators (the writing group that seems to have adopted me), I've decided to try again, starting with the short story that I wrote initially about Matti and Eva at the funeral of their mother, using this as the starting point of the story, rather than as a flashforward to the end. I know now what I want the story to be about (“sisters, and mothers and daughters, and loss”) but now I'm trying to put some plot to it, trying to find something that is fitting to the piece and won't threaten to take over the main themes, like my Whedon-esque plot did the first time around.

It has been a while since I've actually written something. I have done lots of planning, lots of rewriting, but not a lot of the 'creating' recently. So that's something I am trying to get my head back into. I think Matti and Dorcas are my main priorities right now, though I do need to write a new short story too. I have a lot of work to do, but I'm trying not to let that feeling of being under pressure and needing to rush consume me again. Trying to take it one piece at a time.

Thumb Flap

I haven't been so productive today, in part due to my new thumb flap freaking me out every time I look down at my right hand.
Thumb flap. Oh yes. You read that right.
You see, on Saturday I trapped my thumb in the fridge door. It was highly embarrassing and extremely painful. Three days later, and the bleeding has stopped, but I have a hole in said thumb, which is covered by (you guessed it) a flap of skin.
Sorry. Perhaps I should have warned you that this post would be a bit icky.
Currently, my thumb is deathly white, though this may be because I've just removed the plaster rather than a sign that my thumb is about to drop off. One hopes anyway.
It's also making holding a pen difficult, so cue a writing session that is computer based for today. Today is a "Dorcas Day" so I will be spending this evening mainly working on my Dorcas Grubb novel. For further info, please follow the labels below. It's all about a girl dealing with bereavement and mending the hole in her family, much more than it is about her genetic ability to travel in time. Off now to do some work. I would still like to successfully reach my deadline of having a novel completed by September.

Rejections

This week I have received three rejection emails, and I have to say that it does sting. Mainly because it makes me question whether I'm actually any good (which makes the evil little voice of self-doubt inside my head rejoice at this new validation of its existence). I've started analysing my "weaknesses" to see how I can improve in future. I've also eaten two entire Easter eggs over the course of a weekend.
Rejection is as much a part of the writing process as the writing itself. I know this. I normally try to stay positive; I actually have a "rejection letter" folder where I store all the letters and emails and view it as a sign of achievement. Stephen King used to do a similar thing, only he had a nail in the wall where he'd pin his.
I suppose even the most positive people can have their off-days though, so maybe it's because I got three in a row that it has hit me a little harder than usual.
Rejections aside, I have started the rewrite of Matti (working title), which in this draft will be aimed squarely at the teen market. I think I'm also going to have a go at writing Dorcas Grubb at the same time, and just see how it goes.
Anyway, now I hope you don't mind but I'm going to go back to wallowing in self-pity for a while.

Righty-O

My writing is now back on track. I've begun to catalogue what currently happens in Dorcas Grubb, chapter by chapter (one more to go), and can already see the major faults and where I'll need to rewrite and create new story. I've also begun to story board it as a graphic novel - I thought back when I was writing it that it would make a great comic, mainly due to the scene at the end with the giant time vortex ripping between Memorial Arch in Leicester, so thought I'd give it a go.

It's also almost NaNoWriMo time. It's really crept up on me this year. I've re-registered with the site, but haven't given any more thought to the story I'll be writing for it. My head is too full of Dorcas, and I'm not rewriting that as part of NaNoWriMo because I need time to contemplate and improve and polish and NaNoWriMo really isn't that place. NaNoWriMo is the place for spitting out ideas, tapping into that dream state and silencing that inner critic to give the imagination free reign for one whole month. I am registered on the website as "Grizabella", so if you're NaNoWriMo-ing yourself, feel free to add me as a buddy.

Rehearsals for Return To The Forbidden Planet are continuing to go well. It is on February 21st - 26th 2011 and ticket information is available here: http://www.concordiatheatre.co.uk/showguide/showdetail.asp?Key=76

Cleaning Up Dorcas Grubb

I am currently working on fixing the first draft of Dorcas Grubb. The chronology is all over the place – not good anyway, but especially here where the story is about time travel! It's a mess, and is taking me ages to get through even the preliminary stuff. On top of that, I am drawing up my plan for this year's NaNoWriMo novel, which is the “Matti and Eva” story. So far, I have a plan for 10 chapters (or “sections”) that will be 5,000 words each and represent a different stage in the sisters' relationships. The plan will no doubt change a lot between now and November 1st, but at least I have something I can work with.
To be honest, my writing is frustrating me at the moment. It is because I have less time to dedicate to it, due to work commitments and my rehearsals, and because I'm mainly doing planning and editing, I don't have any real sense of accomplishment, and feel like I don't have anything to show for the time that I have spent. Of course, technically I do have something to show for it, be it a freshly scribbled on page of corrections or a 10-chapter plan for a NaNo novel, but still. It's not like it's a finished chapter of a book, or a short story that I can submit somewhere.
I think I am going to have to start dedicating one of my weekend days to writing again, just like I did when I was finishing off Inter Vivos. After all, if you want to be a writer, then you have to write! Hopefully then I shall start to feel better.

Rehearsals and Dorcas

Rehearsals for Return To The Forbidden Planet are going well. Last night we set "It's A Man's World" and it was the first time I got to sing and act in front of the rest of the cast. It was a really fun night, though I'm feeling very tired right now. The show doesn't stop - it goes straight from one number to the next, and is really testing my stamina. At least I'll be a lot fitter after it's all over.

On the writing side of things, I've submitted a story to an anthology, so fingers crossed on that one. I've also decided to write a second draft of Dorcas Grubb, whilst I'm waiting for NaNoWriMo to start. So far I'm up to the second chapter. I reread it recently, and was surprised at how sad the story is, which I think is just about right; if your main character has just lost their father, then I think they would and should be sad. I suppose the story is as much about a family dealing with their grief as it is about time travelling adventures.

I do enjoy being busy. Does that make me weird? :-)

Diet

I'm on a bit of a diet/health kick at the moment, as it is more economical for me to fit into my old clothes than to have to go out and buy exactly the same but in a larger size. I've been doing really well, except that after lunch and dinner, I always want something sweet. I'm sitting here now, typing this, trying not to eat all of the Aero Bubbles that I bought just a minute ago, after my fairly healthy red chard and parmasan salad. Just so tasty though... I feel I'm fighting a losing battle.

I can't start the Three Sisters story. It just won't come. I've been trying to write it for about 3 weeks now, and it's just painful - both in the writing and the reading sense. So, I've decided to shelve that story, and instead I am going to work on my second draft of Dorcas Grubb, and also a couple of short stories I started that I want to finish. A bit of a recap for you: Dorcas Grubb was my NaNoWriMo winning novel of 2008. It features a teenage girl called Dorcas, who's father has just died, and so the family (her mum, older brother, and baby sister) move in with their maternal Grandfather in Leicester (UK). That is where she discovers that the family have a genetic abnormality which means they can travel back in time.The story is about a girl who is dealing with a lot of grief, about a family falling apart and then falling apart some more before finally coming back together, and about a girl who isn't the brightest, or prettiest, or thinnest, but who has a good heart, and wants to find her place in the world. I think it would make a good series, maybe 3 or 4 books, aimed at early teens. Then I'd fast forward in time to start a new series centred around Tabitha, Dorcas's baby sister, all grown up - she's the one with the uber-powers, you see (Dorcas in the first book is constantly over-shadowed by her baby sister!). As usual, I'll keep you updated on my progress.

There, all my Aero Bubbles are gone now. Good job I'm doing aerobics tonight. Sigh.

The Plan (Take 2)

Hope you all had nice holidays everyone! I meant to write a blog post two weeks ago, but was so busy at work that I never got around to posting.

So, over the last few weeks I've been taking some time to think about what to do next. It feels like ages since I actually came up with a new writing project, which is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. As I mentioned, I've been busy with work, which meant only snatched moments to ponder things, but not really any time to be productive and dedicate to new projects. And then over Easter, when I thought I'd have time, I had food poisoning instead. So yes, anyway, this post is about the Plan. Or the New Plan, as it should be known.

I want to continue on with Dorcas Grubb and The Banshee, my two completed first drafts that are currently sitting on my memory stick collecting electronic dust. I need to work out what the main event is in Dorcas, and I need to come up with an actual plot that means something for the Banshee, rather than it being just a string of events that don't lead anywhere.

I came up with an idea for a new novel, I think, though it's all a bit sketchy at the moment, and to be honest, every time I start it, it doesn't come out how I want, and I don't know whether it's fear or inability that's hindering me. The idea anyway - there is a town in contemporary England (at the beginning it was going to be Medieval, but I've scrapped that now) run by two very powerful, feuding families - the Knights and the Bakers. The story goes that once upon a time, Death had a fling with this mortal woman, who had three daughters by him. Death gave each daughter a special gift - the eldest could turn invisible, the second could move as swiftly as Death himself, and the third could see into the future. Anyway, the mum dies and the sisters start squabbling. The eldest married a Knight, hence the surname, the second the local baker, and the third became a nun (Cloister). Anyway, the story is about their descendants today, using their powers to gain the upper hand in the feud which is verging on all out gang war (a bit like modern day Capulets and Montagues). I have a few sketchy characters, a setting, a back story, but no plot as of now. So that's what I'm trying very hard to come up with at the moment.

I also started a short story last night, and I really enjoyed writing it, but I'm not sure where it's going, if anywhere. I was told a few weeks ago that Jay Lake set himself the goal of writing one short story a week, which is a great idea if you have time, so I've decided to write one short story a month starting April 2010. Even if they are just "practice" stories, it'll still be good to write on a regular basis. Plus you never know, some of them might have potential.

And there it is, the Plan. Write a short story a month. Come up with a plot for Three Sisters and write that. Work on the plot of Dorcas Grubb. Come up with a plot for The Banshee story. I think I'm sensing a pattern...

Mid-Write Crisis and Book Launches

Hello all,

I'm actually re-reading Dorcas Grubb at the minute, which was the story I wrote for last year's NaNoWriMo. This is the first time I have been back to it since finishing it back in Nov 08. And *whispers* it's actually quite good so far. I mean, I'm only on page 4, but still. Perhaps I'll work on this one after Inter Vivos is finish.

Urgh, Inter Vivos. It sucks. Well, actually, chapter 11 was better, but the first 10 chapters (as I said before) are terrible! Maybe it's partly because the rewrite that I did sucked some of the initial excitment and passion out of it.

Reading through Inter Vivos has made me wonder whether I'm cut out to be a writer. However, I grit my teeth and continue on, and try to be optimistic that I can turn this turd into something that people might want to read.

If writing and getting published were easy, then everyone would be doing it.

I'm hopefully off to the Inkermen book launch at Loughborough University on Friday afternoon, as I've managed to wrangle out of work before our office Christmas party. I'm a bit scared actually. Not hundred percent sure why, as I don't normally get nervous. Hopefully it'll be fun.

NaNoWriMo Day 11

Things are still going well for me, NaNoWriMo-wise. I'm one whole day ahead of my target word count, which I'm hoping to add to tomorrow and Friday as I have a hen weekend to go to this Saturday, and chances are I won't get any writing done.

In terms of word count I'm doing well. In terms of story though...it all feels a bit rushed. I haven't read back over anything I've written yet, so I don't have anything to really reflect on, but I feel like at the minute I'm merely capturing scenes, rather than feeling and living them. I've moved away from 3rd person singular to 3rd person multiple viewpoint, so that now I can jump into anyone's head that I feel like it, depending on whose is the most appropriate mind to view a particular scene from. It's working so far. Plus, it's nice to get out of Tom's head. He's a bit dull. I might have to inflict him with a lisp or something to make him a tad more interesting. If he was a Sim, I probably would have drowned him by now.

I've had quite a productive year this year. I've written Inter Vivos draft 2 from scratch starting in January, which amounts to just over 120,000 words in its unedited state. I've completed three short stories, two of which are making the rounds at the moment looking for publication. And now I'm almost 19,000 words into my new Banshee novel.

I'm not sure what I'll do when I can finally say "Inter Vivos is finished" and start sending it off to publishers and agents. I will start working on another novel, naturally, but the decision will be between Dorcas Grubb and Banshee, and possibly something else, depending on how long it takes me to finish IV. I also want to work on a collection of interlinked short stories, ordered a bit like Pulp Fiction out of chronological order with occasional recurring characters.

It's good to have options.

So that's it really. Still reading Juliet Barker's Brontes biography, which weighs a tonne. I've drawn the conclusion that Charlotte wasn't particularly likeable, rather selfish actually and quite condescending. My favourite is Anne, the more practical, realistic one. Going to read The Tenant of Wildfell Hall next.

Back in Leicester

Well, so much for blogging everyday about the Fringe! I just didn't have time in the end. It was so busy and - I don't know - frenetic, and I completely over-stimulated myself. Learned how truly unfit I was when almost passing out after climbing up some stone stairs leading off the Royal Mile. But had a brilliant time.

The shows that I saw:

Broken Holmes (twice)
Icarus 2.0
Over the Threshold (see review in previous post)
The Big Comedy Breakfast (pretty funny, and still quoting "past life related" from Sarah Pearce's routine with my friends!)
A Stroke of Genius (really inventive staging and use of props and multimedia, genuinely made me laugh and the lead actress was amazingly good - reminded me of Shirley Henderson).
Orphans - great dialogue and acting, slightly disappointing plot (flaws of logic in the main premise and the first act a little dull).
Perfect Pitch presents...(free showcase of some of the new musicals on at the Fringe)
The World's Wife (Excellent one-woman show performing Carol Ann Duffy's work of the same name)
The Great British Soap Opera The Musical (really well structured show, catchy songs, great acting, although one of the actresses seemed to have a problem with her belt - that's her singing, not her accessorises!)
Baby (Cambridge Uni version of the musical - a couple of the male actors playing it up for the crowd, but generally really good).
The Rap Guide to Evolution (this was funny, but not a parody. Really explained the theory, but also put it into everyday context and related it to rap music. Great lyrics and beats).
A-Team the musical (really funny silliness, though the songs - and singing - were poor).
Ophelia (Drowning) (bizarre yet beautiful play staged in a swimming pool. Got splashed quite a bit, acting good from the "Ophelia" and the "Gertrude" but I would have cast Gertrude as older, without the Claire's accessories tiara, and the bloke in it was just a bit weird).
Plus a seminar on "How to Sell a Show at the Fringe" and a quick visit to the Museum on the Mound.

I also watched a bit of a terrible free comedian at one of the Laughing Horse venues quite late at night, but we left when we realised that this guy clearly had no friends to tell him "hey, you're not funny".

My favourite shows of the bunch (Broken Holmes aside of course), were The World's Wife, A Stroke of Genius, The Great British Soap Opera (not because I found out that I guy I know wrote it, but for the fact that I still have one of the songs in my head now - 4 days later) and the Rap Guide to Evolution (which, for the month of August you can download for free here. Funny and educational - do it!).

It was really great seeing loads of uni friends, old school friends and meeting new people too. It did make me want to write a play again, but at the same time, the question kept coming to me - do I have the energy anymore to do all that promotional work, all that press liaison, all that flyering, etc for three straight weeks? Morph is looking to take a play next year, to continue on the "Semper Theatre" name. Guess I'll have to find some energy from somewhere before then!

So for me now, post Edinburgh, it's back to the writing. More Inter Vivos, and I think I'm going to start my next novel a little earlier than planned. I was saving it for NaNoWriMo, but after what happened with Dorcas Grubb (where I basically had run my inspiration dry by waiting too long to actually write it) I'm a bit scared to leave it much longer.

So short term goals are currently: lose the extra inch I've gained in Edinburgh whilst surviving on a diet of nachos and fried breakfasts; finish off Inter Vivos in the next two weeks; start something new.

Post-NaNo Plan

Right, so this is my attempt at making myself a masterplan. Goal: Finish a book. Target Deadline: February 2009.

The thing is, now that I've crossed the hurdle of finishing a first draft of a novel not once but three times, the thing that scares the crap out of me most is the editing process. Or rather, revising what I've written to make it good enough to show to people whose opinions I actually care about. Inter Vivos is about 50,000 words long right now, and needs to be about 90,000. Dorcas is 50,000, but as it's a children's book, it doesn't need to be much longer.

Trying to revise a novel feels like trying to scale a huge mountain. And you reach a peak, and you feel good, but then you look up and there's still hundreds of miles to go to get to the top, and then you get vertigo and have to sit down for a while...

So, through the NaNoWriMo forums, I found this website: http://www.hollylisle.com/fm/Workshops/one-pass-revision.html and reading it, it actually makes quite a lot of sense. So I'm going to give it a go. What's the worst that could happen, right? I think that at least if I have a guide, it won't feel like I'm climbing that mountain on my own, and if I get stuck, hopefully this will help me.

I'm also going to try to finish a short story I've been working on by Christmas, so I can start to send it to slush piles everywhere in the New Year.

This is the plan anyway. I need to do this, I really do need to be more disciplined and motivated. Wish me the best of luck!

Winner!

Oh my good God, I did it! I didn't think I would, even this morning when I had 3,000 words to go. But I did! Whoop! So first draft of Dorcas Grubb is now complete. You can see my NaNo page and look at my stats, plus read an extract of the first draft here.

The hardest thing I found with doing NaNoWriMo this year, well, one of the hardest things, was that I completed the story, wrote "The End" and everything, when I still had 6,000 words to write. So without that motivation to get to the end (as I had already done it), I found it really difficult to stay motivated. I think this is what has happened with Inter Vivos too - I have completed the first draft of that, but now that I have to go back and fill in some gaps, it's not as exciting anymore. I guess this is where discipline should take over, but I'm crap at making myself do stuff like this. So new resolution, I am going to write every day. I am not going to stick to a word limit per day, though I think a minimum of 50 words is doable, but I am going to add a stipulation that these words must be in the form of fiction (regardless of medium), and by that I mean does not include any planning, note taking, character notes, maps, or anything else that is not directly contributing to a short story, novel, play, etc.

Phew! And I'm going to be strict on myself.

Anyway, I am 28 years old, and have two completed first drafts under my belt. Not a bad position to be in, so long as I don't lose momentum, and I actually do something with them. I'm feeling good.

sleep time soon

Right, I am blogging this just before I go to sleep (oh the joys of a BlackBerry). I didn't write any words for nanowrimo for three days, which meant today I spent three hours playing catch-up. And I got there, just. I had quite a nice night actually, listened to vampire weekend and David bowie, ate chestnuts, wrote almost 6000 words. Was good. I think I've written the end now, though I need to add one last sentence, but I'm still 6000 words short of my goal. I may have to go through and add weather. Only four days to go...

Week Three, and I'm still slogging on...

My best friend, Jen, had a baby yesterday, her second, a little girl called Abigail Hannah. Luckily, she was born by caesarean - I say "lucky" because she weighed 9lbs 12 ozs! Ouch!

I've written just over 28000 words of my NaNoWriMo novel so far, and am on schedule - just. I've been finding it hard to sit still and concentrate for long periods of time, so I've been doing three sessions of thirty minutes a day, roughly, which allows me to crank out the necessary words for the daily target. I haven't been feeling particularly inspired writing Dorcas, to be honest. I think possibly that having had the idea in my head for an entire year has meant that it has not only gone off the boil over time, ie all that initial excitment has gone, but also everything I do write just doesn't compare to the grand masterpiece I had in my head. Although, I think I may have reached a break-through point yesterday, when I reached a bit of the story that I hadn't got planned out, and I regained some of that enthusiasm again when I started inventing things off the top of my head. However, today it's back to the plan again. Next year, I'm going to decide what I'm writing for NaNoWriMo two weeks before, and that'll be it.

At the weekend, I attended a SF and Fantasy writing course, led by Damien G Walter, and I think the course may have fixed the problems I've been having with the opening of Inter Vivos. I think the reason why I've been finding it so difficult to re-write the beginning is that there was no definitive inciting incident, nothing structurally that said "and this is what happens that motivates the rest of the story". Instead, there are several events that contribute, but this leaves the reader less engaged in the story. So after NaNo, rewrite number 3 of IV will begin. I am determined to get it finished!

I've also got a few ideas for short stories that I'm going to try to work on at weekends after I've finished my NaNo words. I really want to target some of the short story markets. Busy, busy, busy!

"Dorcas Grubb" Extract

Just a very quick post to say that I've posted up a very small extract of chapter two from Dorcas Grubb on the NaNoWriMo website. I may post a different extract on here when I get time, but for now, you will have to be satisfied with this! :-)
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/124755 - under the "Novel Info" tab.

The Lost Words

A few nights ago, my computer decided to have a bit of a spasm, and I lost the 400-odd words I had written. Not good when you're NaNoWriMo-ing, and every word counts! It was really annoying because I had to start again, but I couldn't remember exactly what I had written, and so had to write a poor man's version instead. And the sad fact is that now I'm convinced that my computer crashing has robbed the world of 400 words of literary gold, never to be accomplished again (oh it's great what memory can do for the ego!).

Lesson 1: save your work every two minutes, even if others start to think you have OCD. And for heavens sake, Back up!

A Dorcas Grubb update, though this probably won't mean anything to anyone, but Dorcas and Callum have just made their first journey in time together, back to 1485, to Leicester, to see Richard III at the Blue Boar Inn. Callum likes the idea of being a knight in shining armour, but Dorcas just thinks the place smells funny. The story is moving along, but I think that I've got too much stuff to include into one book. I think I may end up getting rid of one of their trips back in time. Also, I have no idea what medieval Leicester looked like, so if anyone knows, please contact me!

Bonfire night was a wash-out (literally), but thank you to Mekon and Hannah for coming over. Sorry I made you watch musicals til the early hours!

It was rememberance day yesterday, and I tried to get in a two minute silence before the phone rang again in my office. There's only a few people alive now who were actually involved in the First World War. I was watching the ceremony on the telly, and it just made me well up, to think that anyone had to be surrounded by all that horror and death, just because their government willed it.

Dorcas Rant

I'm on target for NaNowrimo, but I just don't feel like I'm getting into my stride. I've messed up the order of events already - which is easily fixable, I know, but it's just annoying and messy. Also, Dorcas isn't coming across how I'd like her to. Maybe this is because it's written in the third person. Oh, I don't know. Anyway, 8991 words and counting ...

Pictures!

A few pictures for you today. The first is a mock up of the book cover for Dorcas Grubb. Thanks to Morph for the photoshopping! I stole the picture of the girl from Flicker (via a yahoo image search) so if she ever finds this, sorry! But that's almost exactly how Dorcas looks in my head, which is a bit scary.
I'm up to 6,098 words, and it's still going well. I do think I'll need some help a bit later though, but will post on the forum about that.
It's quite exciting, because at the minute, I am feeling really optimistic, as the story is so full of possibilities. So I can day dream about agents, and publishers, and book tours and my book cover, safe in the knowledge that at this stage of the writing, it is still all possible. Apparently, this is a common feeling for week one NaNoWriMo-ers.
The second and third photos are from our latest office craze, courtesy of http://www.yearbookyourself.com/. If you're bored, go have a go, it's hilarious. Anyway, this is what I'd look like in 1964 (left) and 1982 (right). In the 1982 pic, I look scarily like my mum on her wedding day!