The Importance of Grammar

Some people don't think that grammar is important. They are wrong. Grammar is important on a fundamental level. It wasn't established as a way to police how you write or to limit your creativity. It is there to help a reader gain clarity and understand the meaning of your words. This is obviously very important if you are trying to be a writer, but it is also good standard practice to have a good grounding in grammar for any job application or official correspondence you might have to write. I don't always get it right myself, so thought it would be good to do a post exploring common grammatical mistakes.

A few things to remember:

It's/Its:
"It's" is used as a contraction of the phrase "it is". The apostrophe represents the missing letter "i". "Its" (no apostrophe) means something belonging to something else. If in doubt, try replacing the word in your sentence with the phrase "it is" instead. Does it still make sense? No? Then don't use an apostrophe.

The semi-colon:
I can't explain it better than how it is here, and this has the added bonus of being humorous to boot.

There/Their/They're:
Basically, "There" is used to denote direction ("over there") or an abstract sense of place ("there once was a boy") (there is more to it than that, but I'll try to keep it simply - for further details see here.) Use "Their" if you mean "belonging to them"."They're" (it's that apostrophe again!) is a contraction of the phrase "they are".

That/Which:
A little bit of old school grammar here, but generally speaking, "that" is used if what you are referring to is important to the meaning of the sentence ("restrictive clause"), "which" is used if you could leave that clause off completely and it would still make sense ("non-restrictive clause"). There should never be a comma before "that", but always with "which".
I did a google search, and here are a couple of stolen examples from http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/which-versus-that.aspx:

Example 1: Gems that sparkle often elicit forgiveness
If you remove "that sparkle", it changes the meaning to say that all gems elicit forgiveness (and note there are no commas).

Example 2: Diamonds, which are expensive, often elicit forgiveness.
Diamonds are always assumed expensive, so if you remove the "which", the meaning remains.

For more on grammar, do have a look at http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/, which I found whilst researching this post. I'd also recommend reading The Elements of Style; a very handy guide.

Technology Hates Me

Everything seems to be going wrong at the minute, and I'm starting to wig out. Twitter on my phone keeps telling me my username and password are invalid, even though I can sign in fine through a web browser, plus it keeps losing signal, even though I apparently have a "boost" through WiFi. Stupid BlackBerry. I can't even get Facebook on it anymore as it kept crashing, and so I missed loads of events and social occasions as a result. I swear I'm getting an android phone as soon as my contract is up!

Work is uber busy, but despite this I have managed to work out the story for my Matti novel. I just can't quite decide at what point in the story do I begin - I hate flashbacks, but the beginning isn't really the most interesting part. Decisions, decisions.

I am hopefully off to Alt.Fiction next weekend, and going to try to do some of the workshops this year as I didn't go to any last time. I hope it's good.

Uh! Stupid phone. Now it won't even let me send a text message. I think I'd better go and calm down before I throw it at something. Is there such a thing as "phone rage"?

240th Post!

It's been too hot to write recently - I mean, seriously, how do people who live in hot climates get anything done? Though I guess air-conditioning (which is very rare in the UK) has revolutionised the world in which we live. How else could you attribute the economic success of hot places like Singapore and Brunei? (That's a joke, people).

European Elections tomorrow. One thing that confuses me (I don't know much about politics mind), is how some people are very anti-Conservative, when really what they are referring to is the Conservative party some 19 years ago (Maggie Thatcher), rather than their policies today? I also get the impression that Labour (as in New Labour)'s policies are very similar to the Conservative party policies today anyway. I'm not planning on voting for either of them, but it just seems a little strange. I'm reading manifestos right now, something I've not done before, as I'm hoping to make educated decisions from now on, rather than just voting for the person whose name is prettiest. ;-)

I'm watching Arrested Development at the mo, and it's really good. Have you seen it? It's really funny, and the writing is just so tight - there's not a bit of dead wood anywhere (up to series 2 at the minute). And I care about all the characters, which is quite an achievement these days.

Bit bitty this post. Will try to be more coherent next time!

Film Geekdom

Interesting Film and TV news:

1) New Ghostbusters. I'm glad it's not going to be a remake of the original starring Paul Rudd and Seth Rogan, et al, so I'm glad it's going to be a ghostbusters film with the originals in it, and hope they're getting back together to fight a new baddie. The "passing the torch" thing, well, I just don't want them to continue the franchise if the originals don't have anything to do with it. Especially as it'll probably be Zac Efron playing the grown-up Oscar. And I'm a little bit anti the 'all girl' ghostbusters idea Dan Akyroyd mentions, simply because Hollywood seems to believe that if a film has several female leads, then it has to a) be a love story b) involve a cat fight and c) involve said girls in their underwear/some pervy costume at some point during the film. Not really want I'd want from a Ghostbusters movie.

2) They are remaking Footloose starring a guy from Gossip Girl and possibly Hannah Montana. Eek.

I just don't think they can get away with doing a straight remake any more. Star Trek was great, and what they did was create an alternative dimension to set it in, therefore not shitting over the former TV show and films. I think Footloose 2009 will be a standard remake, but why? Is there any need to remake the classic that was pretty much perfect?

I have another pet peeve, and that's when sequels are basically remakes of the original, but with a different (less attractive/talented) lead and sometimes different location (Poison Ivy II, S Darko, The Rage) - especially when the events in the first film were so extraordinary that no way would that happen again.

I watched Dollhouse last night, and it was really intriguing. It doesn't have the same pizzazz that Buffy had - it's more grown-up, less wit and more action (well the first episode anyway), but I enjoyed it and will be watching it again. It posed more questions than it answered, which is a pretty good start to a series, so we'll see how it progresses. I've just got to remember that it's on, as the Sci Fi Channel isn't in my "On Demand" services I don't think.

I don't normally watch TV, so it's gonna be an experience having to tune into something every week and waiting patiently for the next episode. I used to watch The Big Bang Theory, but I think the schedulers moved its time at some point, and then I had no idea when it was on, so subsequently missed it. Am waiting for the second series to come out on DVD, and will watch it all that way instead. The future is "TV On Demand", definitely. Not sure what that will mean with regards to TV writing, etc. It'll be a nightmare, no doubt.

Twigging Out

I can't do it, I can't write, I'm absolutely terrible, and no matter how hard I try it just comes out as crap!

Words of Wisdom

Have just been reading Neil Gaiman's latest blog post (http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/05/entitlement-issues.html) in which he says:

"Some writers need a while to charge their batteries, and then write their books very rapidly. Some writers write a page or so every day, rain or shine. Some writers run out of steam, and need to do whatever it is they happen to do until they're ready to write again. "

I'm really glad he addressed this in his post, from the point of view that you do only tend to hear about writers who work like machines, who write, say 5000 a day every day. In fact, I've just been reading Writing magazine (aimed at retiree writers by the looks of it) and all the interviews with authors in there are all "I write X number of words a day" etc and no one tells you how difficult it is sometimes, how your brain feels fried and you feel like what you've written is utter drivel and that you must have serious problems of self-delusion to think that you're ever going to get published...
So that's why it's nice for a 'proper' writer to recognise this fact that writers aren't robots. I should add that there is a distinction however between the words not coming and simply "putting it off", which is often hard to distinguish and both can be self-perpetulating.
I think I need a holiday.

A Whiney Rant

Well, Reading is over and done with. I'm so sick of travelling around now. I'm exhausted. And broke. Work will eventually repay all the money I've had to spend, but that doesn't solve the immediate problem of the current deficit of my bank account. I have a hundred and one things to do tomorrow that I will have to cram into about 3 hours before I go out again on Thursday. Work sucks.
I'm also of the opinion right now that my writing sucks too. I'm bored of the part I'm working on and want to fast forward to the good bit. Plus I've just finished reading Neverwhere and now I'm glum because ill never write anything that good, etc etc. Sigh. I'm even boring myself now. Will come back when I'm in a better mood.

Sometimes It's Hard To Be A Bloke

Right, had an exciting (read: boring) couple of days in the Portsmouth area, and then had to work all day Saturday until the skin began to peel off the bottoms of my feet (too much detail again, right?). So I'm pretty tired now, and the writing isn't going very well. Inter Vivos's second draft isn't going. Full stop. Though I'm thinking about taking it back to basics and trying to redraft again. It's just quite daunting having a whole novel to correct, and I hope I can get my head around it. I have to anyway, as it's almost NaNoWriMo time, and I want it finished by then.

When I visited Waterstone's on Sunday, I was saddened to find that one of my new favourite authors, Caitlin Kiernan, had been placed in this sad little section called "Paranormal Romance". It wasn't even a proper shelf, it was made of cardboard, and had the types of books in it that looked like the books Mills and Boon would produce if they introduced Vampires into them (had to do a quick check and they don't). If you haven't read Caitlin Kiernan (and you should!), she doesn't write "Paranormal Romance" at all. She writes Sci-fi, and horror. Really good horror. I have a feeling that this is the section where they are dumping women's sci-fi/horror/fantasy now. I was surprised, however, to find that Stephanie Meyer's books weren't in this section, which is strange, as she is the Queen of the paranormal romance (well, her and Anne Rice). I guess if you're a bestselling author, you transcend genre and Waterstone's can't afford to segregate you.

I've been thinking recently how hard it is to be male in this society sometimes. That sounds a bit weird, I know, but it's true. I know a bloke who got beaten up last week, just because some other bloke thought he had looked at him (he hadn't). I'm kinda glad I live in a society where women are still kinda protected and don't frequently get head-butted in the street after finishing work (well, not as often as men do anyway). I am a feminist, and I consider this to be an important issue within feminism. Equality is a two-way street in my book. Yes, I am very pleased that I can work, and vote, and that I earn the same as my male counterpoint (though I know that some aren't so lucky, and support campaigns to even the balance), but men should be equal to women too. They should have longer paid paternity leave, and have the freedom of choice that women now have, without living in danger of losing a tooth. By pitting one of the sexes against the other, it doesn't do anything to ease the burden on either party, or make life better for anyone. We're all human after all.

Glass Ceiling

Another quick link (will blog again properly soon, promise!) from a blog column on The Guardian's website:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/theatreblog/2008/sep/09/broadwaysglassceiling

This one is basically a rant about how playwriting is still a male-orientated business.

Quick Link - The Slush Pile

Here's a quick link to an article in the Guardian about publishers reviewing unsolicited manuscripts: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/04/publishing.pressandpublishing

If even agents won't accept unsolicited manuscripts, then what hope is there for anyone new on the scene?

Don't Disappoint the Fandom!

I have been following the backlash against Stephanie Meyer's new book Breaking Dawn recently with great interest. Only a week ago she was being hailed as the next JK Rowling, and then the book is released, to much hype, and the fans hated it, so much so that they started returning the book to bookshops (rather than burning them, which was originally suggested) so that Ms Meyer won't receive any royalty monies. Harsh. Just goes to show that you shouldn't break the golden rules and mess with your own Universe's internal consistancy. For example, one of the main gripes seems to be the new development that a vampire, which previously had no body fluids, no tears, etc, suddenly has functioning sperm.

For background on the release of the book, see: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article4492238.ece

A news article about the backlash and book-returning campaign can be found here: http://news.guelphmercury.com/arts/article/365065

Just a few samples of the fan backlash (and disappointment) can be found here: http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArATgff2C68QC1e8F08rAYXwBwx.;_ylv=3?qid=20080810153118AA7q4RS and

http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/product/1905654286/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_recent?%5Fencoding=UTF8&coliid=&showViewpoints=1&colid=&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending and

http://forum.twilightersanonymous.com/index.php/topic,811.0.html

and http://www.cbc.ca/arts/books/story/2008/08/08/meyer-protest.html

A Wednesday Self-Centred Rant...

It's my own fault really for agreeing to be in Jekyll and Hyde. I'm resenting the time it's draining from me already. My hair is getting skanky and I don't have time to wash it (eugh - too much detail!). I'm turning into a fifteen year old greaser all because I'm never at home. My flat is a tip. I have no food in the place, nor any clean cutlery. I won't have time to do a shop until Friday. So I'm annoyed right now. Wouldn't be feeling so peeved if I felt the rehearsals were worthwhile and the chorus was valued in the show. It's not. And all we get to do is sing this one song five times, and do choreographed head movements every two lines in a verse. And be there twice a week. Boring. Next!

I've been reading The Sandman graphic novels (I keep getting told off for calling them 'comics'), and have realised that I have a crush on Morpheus. Is this normal? Probably not!

Inter Vivos is all typed up and ready to go (to be made into a second draft). Need to print it out, but have forgotten my memory stick today so can't do it right now. My printer at home is out of ink, and I can only get a new cartridge from Dell, but they need you to actually physically take the parcel from the postie's hands, which means I can't order one as I'm never at home. Rah!

Hmm, am in a bit of a ranty mood today, and have only just noticed. Good job I don't have to talk to anyone right now, isn't it?!

Tick, Tock, Tick

I'm feeling really frustrated because I want to be a writer, but I don't have anything written! I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but that's just how it is. I've been reflecting on my own writing style and habits, and I've come to the conclusion that my weakness is story. Don't get me wrong, I can get Character A and Character B from X to Y with a few subplots inbetween perfectly well, thank you, but when someone asks me 'What's it about?' I get stumped. I vaguely have a notion of what I would like the story to say on a deeper level, but find it difficult to get my story to reflect that. I know, "practice makes perfect", but noone's getting any younger. I read in this book I got out of the library (can't remember the title right now), that having one child = two books (in terms of time, energy, etc). It was controversal when whoever said it said it, but I can kind of see what they mean - I have friends who have kids and they don't even have time to have a conversation with their husbands, let alone write a manuscript. I really want to get a book published before I have a child. Not that I'm planning on having children in the next few years, but it's something to think about (especially when everyone around me seems to be 'up the duff'). I feel better for ranting now, so hope you'll excuse me!
I've been thinking of radio, and so I emailed Amanda and asked her for her advice, as she's written quite a bit for radio now. She told me that radio is a lot more intimate than theatre, and sent me one of her radio scripts to look through. This is where story comes along, as radio is all about the storytelling. Think I might have a go and adapting Hoodies and High Street Aphrodite for the airwaves.
In terms of Inter Vivos - still not finished. Am thinking that maybe I should just trust my inital feelings and set it in the near-future, rather than in it's own dimension. Should not let people sway me before a) I've finished and b) they've read it.

Twisty Knickers

People get their knickers in a twist about anything. Right now it's the Rosen vs. Rowling story-that-never-was. I keep promising myself never again to read the comments on Guardian blog, but I inevitably do, and then I get pissed off again.

I'm trying to decide whether to go and join KPAOS and do Thoroughly Modern Millie. The problem is that the group rehearses on a Tuesday (which is fine), with Monday rehearsals for principals, which is not good, as this will clash with rehearsals for Jekyll. Pros for joining are that it's based in Leicester, so no more expensive train fares and waiting around late at night at dimly lit railway stations, and that I might get a part. Cons are that I might just get chorus, and it looks like I may have to quit Jekyll, which I'm just starting to enjoy. One to ponder, I think.

I've still not heard back about Calypso, and it's been forever! Well, three weeks, but that's still a very long time. I wonder what the longest some one has had to wait before finding out if their submission has been accepted?

IV still not finished, and the five pages I wrote on the train last night coming back from rehearsal really stink. Let's hope a second draft will save it all, eh?

Blogs

I'm becoming a little disheartened with blogs and forums and message boards. I don't mean the ones set up by my friends, but the ones that are in the public domain, like the imdb ones, or the Guardian ones, as well as some fan-based/special interest ones. People are just so mean on them sometimes. It's like they sit there in cyber space, waiting and waiting and getting more angry and more grouchy, and then start threads or make comments basically picking apart everything the author/previous poster has just said, sometimes missing the point, or misinterpreting the meaning entirely, basically jumping to conclusions like they've been personally attacked somehow and need to defend themselves, to prove their own superiority or something. It's annoying when people jump down someone's virtual throat out of spite, and also quite sad that someone can get so worked up about something trivial and not even there to offend, rather than reading it as someone's viewpoint (which blogs/forum threads tend to be) and putting forward their disagreements (if any) in rational, logical ways. Nit-picking about the correct use of a semi-colon or "quoting" "random" "words" "out of" "context" to try to prove a point is just pathetic. Perhaps they just have too much free time on their hands. I mean, I'm all for passion, but willful misinterpretation to make yourself somehow feel superior (and a constant need to do this in the same comments section/thread) can't be a good thing.

A Mid-Way Book Review

I am half-way through reading The Glass Book of the Dream Eaters, and it has turned into a chore to read. For one thing, the chapters are painfully long (the one I'm currently reading is 74 pages!).
My main gripe is that I still haven't been told any more about 'The Process' since they described it in the first twenty pages, and the story hasn't actually moved on since then at all, aside from the characters physically going from this house to the next in search of some answers to a question they are not entirely sure of. So we get the same events told three times over, and our three narrators aren't defined enough to make the narratives different or interesting, relying heavily on stereotype to bring the characters to life but doing little to explore these stereotypes or make them anything more than two-dimensional. There are a few erotic passages which do break up the monotony a little, but they don't seem to serve any other purpose except to say "the Process makes you lose your morality", which has been (over-) stated already. It tries to be a mystery novel, but the mystery doesn't seem to be all that exciting, or dangerous, or mysterious enough for me to actually care if they solve it or not (I'm optimistic enough to think that perhaps that's because there's an exciting part to the puzzle that has not yet been revealed, but I'm starting to lose hope).
I'm just thoroughly bored now, but determined to read to the end. I hope the ending is worth this effort. There's actually a sequel coming out, which makes me think that if they don't conclude things in this book (at 784 pages), then the writer has some serious issues.

Moan

Right, I'm having a moan now, because my writing seems to be crap again. Or perhaps it's just me not being able to get back into the swing of things after the christmas break? Anyway, I had a horrible dream, which I've interpreted as watching my ambitions of a writing career going (literally) down the drain, and it was horrible, and now I'm scared that I'm just crap and am going to be crap forever, or worse, that I just won't be able to find the time to write, and so will never ever be a writer. Am getting myself into a bit of a tiz about it all (so much so that I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on writing ... and so the circle goes on).

At least there is good news in the fact that even postwomen who have received bucket loads of rejection letters can win literary prizes.

New Spice Girls Song is a Pile of W**k Shocker!

Saw The Spice Girls new video last night. It amused me that all the girls' vocals had been layered to try to disguise the fact that they can't sing; well, everyone's except Sporty Spice, who sounded like she had swallowed a fog horn in comparison when she opened her mouth as she was the only one whose voice hadn't been digitally tampered with. Absolutely rubbish.

Panic!!

How am I going to be a writer if I never write anything? Aaaaargh!!!!!

The Oldest Profession

OK, so I watched 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' on ITV 2 last night. And I thought it was good, entertaining and all. What really annoyed me, though, was a few days ago, the prudes on BBC 2's Newsnight reviewed the show negatively; the only reason given for this was that the show glamorised prostitution and, basically, wasn't about crack whores. I live in Highfields. If I wanted to watch drama involving crack whores, I'd just look out of my window. The only woman on Newsnight as part of the reviewing panel (over 50, upper-middle class) was complaining because it wasn't about 'reality' and apparently portrayed the male-fantasy version of prostitution, rather than how it "really is" for the 90-odd% of working girls out there. Let's skip over the fact that the programme is based on a true story. All TV shows, movies, etc are glamorised to some extent. Archaeologists don't all look like Harrison Ford. Men don't all have fifteen-inch penises, like they do in porn films. Prostitutes don't all work in safe, controlled environments, drug- and pimp-free. But isn't that how it should be? Perhaps not the 15 inchers or Harrison Ford, but I mean safe and clean and as unexploitative as possible. If prostitution was legalised, then at least it would get some of these "90-odd%" women off the streets. Legal brothels would mean the girls would get regular health checks, help with drug rehabilitation, lodgings and clothes. It would be safer. And some of these women wouldn't then be exploited by men for drugs and money, they would be the ones doing the exploiting, because they would be trading sex for cash on their own terms. And I want to point out that just because I'm pro-legalised prostitution, that doesn't mean I'm pro-infidelity, but at least you would know that if your future bloke had been with a pro in the past, they were clean and healthy and it was purely a business transaction, and wasn't funding drugs trafficking and terrorism (like pirate DVDs do…). I know the argument above is somewhat naïve, but surely it is acceptable for TV to show how the minority live, as well as the majority, and also highlight how things could be improved? I don't think they have any right to write off a TV show because it's not about prostitution as us Highfields-survivors know it (and I'm sure the woman from the Beeb has probably met more prostitutes like Belle de Jour than the girls who used to work my street corner and leave used condoms for me to clean up down the alleyway to my front door). I am thoroughly prepared for people to comment and disagree (and fair enough if you thought the show was crap!); we're all entitled to our opinions and this is just mine.